Steppin' on Something that Stinks

I'll be taking a trip down to Southern California this summer, and will probably be visiting Hollywood. But unlike last time -- since the Virgin Megastore closed down since my last visit -- I don't expect to tread any sidewalks that are adorned with the stars of the world-famous Hollywood Walk of Fame, since Amoeba Music is a block or two off that studded path (if I recall correctly). And frankly, it's just as well, since the Walk of Fame doesn't hold nearly the glamour and allure now that it used to.

Back in the good old days, you really had to be a celebrity of some importance to earn your very own star on the Walk of Fame. Now the only requirement seems to be paying the $25,000 sponsor fee. And having the right timing doesn't hurt either. Case in point: Shrek. Yes ... Shrek, for the love of crap. Never mind that he's an animated character that doesn't even exist in reality -- that line was crossed when Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny got their stars. What gets me about it is that, by coincidence (yeah, coincidence my ass), he got his star on the Walk just a couple of weeks ago ... yup, right before his latest movie hit the theatres!! Funny that, eh? Don't get me wrong, the first one or two "Shrek" movies were fun, so I have nothing against the ogre ... it's just that the whole situation just makes me want to crap my pants in frustration.

Is there something wrong with a candidate's contribution to entertainment, name recognition, and relative historical significance being used as factors to determine their worthiness to be given a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame? There are probably a good number of names on the Walk now that I wouldn't recognize -- but then, I can't know who everyone is, so that's not so troubling -- but the list of people who still haven't been given their rightful stars is downright disturbing. Is anyone else as shocked as I am that Woody Allen, Robert Redford, Clint Eastwood, Madonna, Dustin Hoffman, Sally Field, Diane Keaton, Francis Ford Coppola, George Lucas, Jane Fonda, Al Pacino, Robert DeNiro, and Sean Connery all have yet to be so honored? Not to mention -- yes, here it comes -- my own personal pet peeve on that left-outs list: "Weird Al" Yankovic.

Laugh if you will, but think about it: "Weird Al" Yankovic has been making people laugh in a family-friendly way for over 25 years, and he's made his mark not only on music, but also on film (the hilarious "UHF") and television (the short-lived but adorable Saturday morning series "The Weird Al Show") ... plus there's the simple fact that he's known the world over, not just by name but also by his face. This is made all the more aggravating considering that people like Britney Spears, Sean (whatever variation of "Diddy" he's using this week) Combs, and Judge Judy have been given stars long before they deserve them. All I can figure is that a) there must be a lot of free space on the Walk of Fame sidewalks, and b) the city must really need the money from all those sponsorship fees.